By Khushi Priya
Year 2026, Day 69
It has been twelve years since XR-42 was commissioned on Earth. The spy transformed itself into a wood to intercept the secret insights into why most human males were unable to pull out during sex.
XR-42 went to a frat house to observe humans in action. During a high-stakes beer pong tournament, a frat boy named Chad slammed a giant pitcher of cheap beer directly onto XR-42. The alcohol went straight into the central nervous matrix of the spy.
Right on cue, the veins of XR-42 buzzed. The subspace transmitter was signalling the time for the High Commission's mandatory daily briefing. XR-42 staggered into the basement to report to the commander.
Supreme Commander Vrel's holographic face flickered faintly through the steam of the sticky basement. XR-42 tried standing at attention.
"Agent XR-42," Vrel barked, reviewing the chaotic audio logs of shouting, chanting, and rhythmic thumping from the frat house. "The behavior in this sector is confusing. The males are constantly overly intimate. They are hugging, crying over sports, and slapping each other's gluteus maximus. Tell me... are the humans gay there?"
"It is a state of mind, sir. One can be gay all the time if he truly wants," XR-42 hiccupped.
Vrel narrowed his eyes, analysing the agent's wildly erratic thermal readings.
"What is your state right now?"
XR-42's internal GPS glitched violently.
"Georgia, sir."
Vrel pressed further.
"Yeah... and how's Georgia?"
"Let me call her, sir," XR-42 slurred confidently.
Supreme Commander Vrel immediately detected the catastrophic system malfunction. The Commander’s multi-eyed face twisted into absolute panic. If XR-42 blabbed about the High Commission to this "Georgia" entity, the entire Earth invasion timeline would collapse.
"Agent! Stand down!" Vrel screamed.
Too late.
XR-42 was already on the move.
In his glitched-out state, he forgot to activate his invisibility shield. Worse, as the spy staggered up the basement stairs in search of Georgia, the music suddenly stopped.
A frat boy holding a red Solo cup blinked aggressively, rubbed his eyes, and yelled across the room,
"Dude... did someone lose a dick?!"
Within three seconds, the entire party abandoned the beer pong table and gathered around XR-42. The room's temperature seemed to spike instantly. The girls exchanged stunned, wide-eyed glances, each silently confirming that yes; they were all seeing the same impossible thing. A few even fainted on the spot.
Before anyone could post it to TikTok, one particularly adventurous girl threw her panties over XR-42 and climbed on the spy.
Inside XR-42's alcohol-soaked alien brain, every alarm blared. The High Commission's tracking metrics had gone completely off the charts.
But looking down at the human in action, XR-42 realised this was the breakthrough his mission had been waiting for.
As the girl bounced up and down, XR-42 attempted to appear unfazed and reassured her in a smooth, heavily intoxicated Southern drawl:
"It's okay, baby... I will pull out."
About the Author
Khushi Priya is an emerging writer and stand-up comedian based in India.
She writes satire, speculative fiction, and creative nonfiction with a focus on humour and social commentary.
Her work has appeared in The Haven Comedy and The LOL Comedy.
Alistair Lloyd is a Melbourne based writer and narrator who has been consuming good quality science fiction and fantasy most of his life.
Geraldine Borella writes fiction for children, young adults and adults. Her work has been published by Deadset Press, IFWG Publishing, Wombat Books/Rhiza Edge, AHWA/Midnight Echo, Antipodean SF, Shacklebound Books, Black Ink Fiction, Paramour Ink Fiction, House of Loki and Raven & Drake
Sarah Jane Justice is an Adelaide-based fiction writer, poet, musician and spoken word artist.
James Walton was a librarian, a farm labourer, and mostly a public sector union official.
Mark is an astrophysicist and space scientist who worked on the Cassini/Huygens mission to Saturn. Following this he worked in computer consultancy, engineering, and high energy research (with a stint at the JET Fusion Torus).
Merri Andrew writes poetry and short fiction, some of which has appeared in Cordite, Be:longing, Baby Teeth and Islet, among other places.
Tara Campbell is an award-winning writer, teacher, Kimbilio Fellow, fiction co-editor at Barrelhouse, and graduate of American University's MFA in Creative Writing.
Emma Louise Gill (she/her) is a British-Australian spec fic writer and consumer of vast amounts of coffee. Brought up on a diet of English lit, she rebelled and now spends her time writing explosive space opera and other fantastical things in
Brian Biswas lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, USA.
Tom Wrosch is a retired policy analyst with the State of Oregon, and resides with his wife in Salem.
Barry Yedvobnick is a recently retired Biology Professor. He performed molecular biology and genetic research, and taught, at Emory University in Atlanta for 34 years. He is new to fiction writing, and enjoys taking real science a step or two beyond its known boundaries in his
Ed lives with his wife plus a magical assortment of native animals in tropical North Queensland.
My time at Nambucca Valley Community Radio began back in 2016 after moving into the area from Sydney.