AntipodeanSF Issue 315

 By J. S. O'Keefe

“Every time you tell me something I will reply that you said the same thing yesterday. Let’s start, okay?”

“That’s stupid.”

“That’s what you said yesterday.”

“We didn’t even meet yesterday. Come to think of it, I am not sure I know you.”

“Yesterday you said we hadn’t talked the day before. You also said you were not sure if we’d ever been introduced.”

“Listen, help me out here. Why are we talking, you and me?”

“Very funny!  Funny, indeed. We’re talking because we’re continuing yesterday’s conversation. Capiche?”

“No capiche! For the last time I’m going to say it, this is stupid. An imbecilic mind game. You’re trying to play with my head. It is stupid.”

“Stop repeating yourself. You’ve already used the word stupid three times today and said stupid yesterday. The average adult in an English-speaking country knows a total of thirty thousand words and actively uses about twenty thousand in his daily life. Don’t tell me you only know one word for stupid. Just off the top of my head, brainless, dumb, ludicrous, dull, foolish, witless, inane, simpleminded, idiotic.”

“Those are called synonyms. And leave me alone, okay? Find someone else who enjoys blubbering hodgepodge. Or get a thesaurus and learn about synonyms. Come back after you develop real language skills and have something interesting to discuss.”

“That’s the word, synonym! I remember you mentioning synonyms yesterday. I’ve been searching my memory ever since but kept drawing a blank. It’s an elegant expression, synonym, probably from Latin or Greek. Anyway, thanks for repeating it.”

“That’s it! I’m never talking with you ever again.”

“That’s the very sentence you screamed at me yesterday, word for word. And yet, here you are talking to me.”

“Enough! Listen, stupid, I’m going and from now on you are dead to me and I am dead to you, okay?”

“Big deal; both of us are dead. Coinkydink, they put us in the same morgue, next to each other. At least we can talk until we run out of things to say.”

Artwork by Toni Verkruysse

 

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About the Author

john okeefe 300J. S. O’Keefe is a scientist, trilingual translator and writer.

His short stories and poems have been published in Roi Faineant, Scribes*MICRO, Every Day Fiction, AntipodeanSF, 101 Words, Microfiction Monday, 50WS, Friday Flash Fiction, Medium, Paragraph Planet, 6S, WENSUM, Spillwords, Satire, etc.

You can find out more at his website: <https://www.szjohnny.net/>

About the Artist

toni v 300Toni Verkruysse has authored three fantasy novels: Marking Time, Iron and Intaglio, and Pale as Hope.

She is also an artist whose works are displayed in the Olympic archives and Palm Beach galleries.

The AntiSF Radio Show

antipod-show-50Our weekly podcast features the stories from recently published issues, often narrated by the authors themselves.

Listen to the latest episode now:

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Download for Kindle, Kobo, tablet or PC for offline reading.

 

The e-book editions are produced by Mark Webb.

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Issue Contributors

Meet the Narrators

  • Mark English

    mark english 100Mark is an astrophysicist and space scientist who worked on the Cassini/Huygens mission to Saturn. Following this he worked in computer consultancy, engineering, and high energy research (with a stint at the JET Fusion Torus).

    All this science hasn't damped his love of fantasy and science fiction. It has, however, ruined his

    ...
  • Merri Andrew

    merri andrew 200Merri Andrew writes poetry and short fiction, some of which has appeared in Cordite, Be:longing, Baby Teeth and Islet, among other places.

    She has been a featured artist for the Noted festival, won a Red Room #30in30 daily poetry challenge and was shortlisted for the

    ...
  • Laurie Bell

    lauriebell 2 200

    Laurie Bell lives in Melbourne, Australia and is the author of "The Stones of Power Series" via Wyvern's Peak Publishing: "The Butterfly Stone", "The Tiger's Eye" and "The Crow's Heart" (YA/Fantasy).

    She is also the author of "White Fire" (Sci-Fi) and "The Good, the Bad and the Undecided" (a

    ...
  • Tim Borella

    tim borellaTim Borella is an Australian author, mainly of short speculative fiction published in anthologies, online and in podcasts.

    He’s also a songwriter, and has been fortunate enough to have spent most of his working life doing something else he loves, flying.

    Tim lives with his wife Georgie in beautiful Far

    ...
  • Sarah Jane Justice

    Sarah Jane Justice 200Sarah Jane Justice is an Adelaide-based fiction writer, poet, musician and spoken word artist.

    Among other achievements, she has performed in the National Finals of the Australian Poetry Slam, released two albums of her original music and seen her poetry

    ...
  • Barry Yedvobnick

    barry yedvobnick 200Barry Yedvobnick is a recently retired Biology Professor. He performed molecular biology and genetic research, and taught, at Emory University in Atlanta for 34 years. He is new to fiction writing, and enjoys taking real science a step or two beyond its known boundaries in his

    ...
  • Sarah Pratt

    sarah pratt 200Sarah Pratt is an avid fiction writer and a Marketing Consultant.

    She is currently working on her first novel but loves diving into short stories to bring a little lightness, intrigue or humour to the day.

    Her work has appeared in Sponge Magazine and The Commuting

    ...
  • Chuck McKenzie

    chuck mckenzie 200Chuck McKenzie was born in 1970, and still spends much of his time there.

    He also runs the YouTube channel 'A Touch of the Terrors', where — as 'Uncle Charles' — he performs readings of his favourite horror tales in a manner that makes most ham actors

    ...
  • Emma Gill

    Emma Louise GillEmma Louise Gill (she/her) is a British-Australian spec fic writer and consumer of vast amounts of coffee. Brought up on a diet of English lit, she rebelled and now spends her time writing explosive space opera and other fantastical things in

    ...
  • Ed Errington

    ed erringtonEd lives with his wife plus a magical assortment of native animals in tropical North Queensland.

    His efforts at wallaby wrangling are without parallel — at least in this universe.

    He enjoys reading and writing science-fiction stories set within intriguing, yet plausible contexts, and invite readers’ “willing suspension of

    ...
  • Carolyn Eccles

    carolyn eccles 100

    Carolyn's work spans devising, performance, theatre-in-education and a collaborative visual art practice.

    She tours children's works to schools nationally with School Performance Tours, is a member of the Bathurst physical theatre ensemble Lingua Franca and one half of darkroom —

    ...
  • Alistair Lloyd

    alistair lloyd 200Alistair Lloyd is a Melbourne based writer and narrator who has been consuming good quality science fiction and fantasy most of his life.

    You may find him on Twitter as <@mr_al> and online at <...

  • Geraldine Borella

    geraldine borella 200Geraldine Borella writes fiction for children, young adults and adults. Her work has been published by Deadset Press, IFWG Publishing, Wombat Books/Rhiza Edge, AHWA/Midnight Echo, Antipodean SF, Shacklebound Books, Black Ink Fiction, Paramour Ink Fiction, House of Loki and Raven & Drake

    ...
  • Michelle Walker

    michelle walker32My time at Nambucca Valley Community Radio began back in 2016 after moving into the area from Sydney.

    As a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, I recognised it was definitely God who opened up the pathways for my husband and I to settle in the Valley.

    Within

    ...
  • Marg Essex

    marg essex 200Margaret lives the good life on a small piece of rural New South Wales Australia, with an amazing man, a couple of pets, and several rambunctious wombats.

    She feels so lucky to be a part of the AntiSF team.

    ...