By Kevin J. Phyland
Background
Harpies are gene-spliced hybrid xenoforms from the Magenta planets.
Possessing Excelsior® growth enhancers and optional protective augments, the Harpy© is ideal for home defence or security placements*.
Harpies© are a licensed artificial construct with biological overlays and have had measured intelligence spreads between 0.55 and 1.08 Human-analogues.
Harpies© have regenerative duplicators built-in as standard and lifespans are yet to be reliably measured, however we guarantee them for life.
Adult Harpies© are flight-capable.
Care
Harpies© can ingest any flora or fauna indigenous to any human-settled world.
Harpies© require about one litre of water per day per 10 kg of body mass.
Harpies© are known to be antagonistic to organisms on which they have not been originally imprinted. (Keep separated)
Do not tether, bind, chain or otherwise limit their movements.
Note: Once released from the shipping container our liability ends.
At no time should you indicate you wish harm to your Harpy© within 100 m of it.
FAQs
[1] I can’t seem to find my Harpy©. Are they invisible?
No. But they do have super chameleon gene markers at no extra cost!
[2] Can I train my Harpy©?
Absolutely! Not to fill out complicated online forms of course, but they have been successfully used to hunt prey species. Well, not exactly on command, but they will kill them.
[3] Are Harpies© able to read minds?
Short answer: No.They do however have an incredible ability to read body, facial and vocal cues. So don’t plan to harm your Harpy anywhere they can see, smell or hear you.[4] Why did I buy this @#$#€! thing? The intelligence of all known sentient species tends to follow a bell curve and inevitably some individuals are far beyond the median. This may be you.
[5] Where is my <insert beloved pet species here>?
If it was anywhere near a loose Harpy© you might check the scat of the Harpy©, but we think you know what happened to it.
* Under very limited circumstances and having taken all due care.
Excelsior Geneforms wish you many happy hours of entertainment from your purchase!
About the Author
Kevin J. Phyland
Old enough to just remember the first manned Moon landing, Kevin was so impressed he made science his life.
Retired now from teaching he amuses himself by reading, writing, following his love of weather and correcting people on the internet.
He’s been writing since his teens and hopes he will one day get it right.
He can be found on twitter @KevinPhyland where he goes by the handle of CaptainZero and his work is around the place if you search using google or use the antisf.com.au archive.
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