By Ashley Cracknell
Are you tired of having your best ideas ignored? Are you burnt out after seeing yet another project fail despite your warnings? Is your office nickname, “Cassandra?”
If this sounds like you, it’s time to shake off the doubters and jump into a career that rewards your prophetic power!
The Department of Psychic Probabilities is seeking an Executive Oracle to join our award winning Dreams and Visions team.
About You
With at least five years of proven prophecies under your belt, you are a detail-oriented dreamcatcher who isn’t afraid to speak up when a vision sends you rolling around on the floor. As the main conduit between the Director of Prophecy and the Dreams team, you are organised to the point of military precision. You never drop the ball because you see it coming before it's thrown.
What we offer
Work with the best of the best: The Department of Psychic Probabilities has won the Best Unmerged Department Award at the Feddies for three years in a row, and we predict more success this year. That’s not all. Along with accolades and acolytes, we offer a competitive salary package, an annual day of volunteer leave to allow you to give back to your community using your predictive powers (suggested activities include car crash or kidnapping prevention), and a monthly “Dreaming Day” so that you can stay at home and catch up on all those visions!
If this sounds like your utopia, don’t wait, apply below, including a resume and cover letter.
Details
Next Steps: Should you progress to the next round you will join other candidates for test screening. Tests include but are not limited to: reading tea leaves, deciphering dreams, and basic arithmetic.
Applications close: If you haven’t already guessed then this isn’t the job for you.
Note: Due to concerns around fraudulent applications by non-psychic persons, and the resulting loss of public confidence in Government decision making due to the unforeseen consequences of false predictions, the Department of Psychic Probabilities is exempt from inclusivity legislation.
About the Author
Ashley Cracknell
Ashley Cracknell is a Northern Irish-Australian writer who lives in Sydney.
His short fiction has featured in Aurealis, AntiSF, the Honest Ulsterman.
He has also dabbled in editing and audio narration.