Selfie

By Harris Tobias

sfgenreThe alien looked nothing like Jael expected. She’d seen enough science fiction movies to know one when she saw one. She figured aliens would look vaguely human at the very least. Okay, maybe not movie star human, but this pitiful blob of jelly oozing around her kitchen was truly revolting. She took a few photos of it and, summoning her courage, scraped it into her dustpan and dumped it into the kitchen sink.

There it lay phlegm-like and inanimate. Still, she took another photo of it and posted it to her FaceBook wall with the caption, “jelly anyone?” Then she turned out the kitchen light and went to check her email. She expected at least a few of her 643 friends would find it amusing and reply with either a text, a thumbs up, or a smiley face emoticon.

A few hours later Jael noticed that the blob in the sink was actually doing something. It was heaving and growing into a bigger and taller blob. At first she was frightened. She turned on the sink’s taps in an attempt to flush the thing down the drain. The warm water only seemed to animate it. When the water grew scalding, the thing grew a gooey pseudopod that reached out and shut the water off. That’s when Jael realised that she might be dealing with something intelligent and not some run of the mill sewer slime. She’d seen enough horror movies to know how monsters were supposed to act — and this wasn’t it.

She stood and watched as the slimy mound grew and slowly acquired shape. It transformed from a puddle at the bottom of her sink into a towering, transparent column about six-feet high. Gradually, it assumed a vaguely human form with an ill-defined head, a torso, two arms, and two legs. It grew too tall to stand comfortably in the sink, and held it’s head at an awkward angle. Jael felt sorry for it and set her stepladder against the sink so it could climb down — if it had the wit to understand the offer. The creature understood. It climbed out of the sink and stood before her on the kitchen floor.

The alien stood there for some time. It grew more and more human. Jael took another selfie with the blob. She tagged this one “we’re going out for drinks later” and sent it up to her 137 Twitter followers. The creature took on more and more detail — the hands grew fingers, the feet grew toes. A well-endowed male member grew in its crotch area. It was still quite translucent, but its shape and size caught her immediate attention. She took a few more photos and uploaded a short video to her blog as the creature gained in colour and solidity.

More and more human-like all the time, the creature took on a decidedly bluish tint. It had no hair but did have perfect teeth and, in her opinion, a sexy smile. Little by little it grew more and more handsome, somehow becoming more akin to the man of Jael's dreams. How strange was that? Apart from his blue skin, he was a perfectly formed specimen. She was sorry now that she had posted the earlier blob pictures. Maybe there was still time to delete them.

The alien held out its hand to her. Jael hesitated, but took it only momentarily — embarrassed by his nakedness and his movie star perfection. She excused herself and ran to her closet, returning with a t-shirt and a pair of shorts belonging to her former boyfriend. Jael helped the alien to wriggle into the clothes. Both garments barely fitted his well-toned body.

Eventually, the alien took the phone from Jael's hand and put his arm around her. They both smiled as her new boyfriend snapped yet another selfie.

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About The Author

Harris Tobias

Harris Tobias lives and writes in Charlottesville, Virginia. He is the author of two novels: The Greer Agency & A Felony of Birds. He has written dozens of short stories many of which are available on line at <quantummuse.com>. He is the author of many children’s books including At The Robot ZooMoonRivet Saves His Skin and An Alphabet Book of Bugs available in print from

CreateSpace and as ebooks for Nook & Kindle. You can find links to his writings here: <harristobias-fiction.blogspot.com>

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In The Next Issue...

Coming In Issue 224

A Bushmeat Addiction
by Wes Parish

A Kernel of Wisdom
by Michael T. Schaper

A Self Long Forgotten
by Ariel Braago

Breathe, Little Greel
by George Nikolopoulos

City Limits
by Matthew Harrison

Drawing Down The Demon
by Nick Clark

Minties
by Rob Riel

No More Doors, No More Windows
by Andrew Kozma

One Shot
by Griffyn Goodall

One Universe At A Time
by Kevin J. Phuland

AntiSF February 2017

AntipodeanSF

ISSUE 223

Speculative Fiction
Downside-Up
ISSN 1442-0686

Online Since Feb 1998

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